Words.
Sometimes it just too sharp,
As it may's cut you alive. but leave you nor wound or marks.
Just some pains in your chest and some mind boggling shit in your mind.
And you felt miserable. Waiting to die.
Alone.
Be careful with words.
As i may cut you through.
Would you mind if i stay a while in your head and resting there.
At least you know i am somewhere in your mind.
for the 1st time ever,
i sit in front of this laptop and wondering,
where you might be at this moment.
you who i presume may be, or will be the love of my life.
I sometimes has this fear,
the fear of you will vanish just like the others.
The one who remains to be the sad part of me and remains to be un-deleted from my memory.
I am just hoping, that one day , you is the one who i'm looking just be happy at the moment .
yes,
This might be a random note for you
this might just a plain text for you.
or its just a random story to be write at the moment.
but, then again, i still hoping you will read this someday,
that i already appreciating your values even before we met.
Love is fucking suicide.
Just like what my friends wrote in his songs.
I know it's harsh but hey,
we tend to commit suicide every now and then,
but be grateful for what we have now.
sometimes, we just forgot what we have and whining over what we don't have.
Pathetic as it's seem.
But hey, all i can say is,
I will love you .
yes, You who will reside beside me,
on that platform, where we could together, forever.
as long our breath remain.
Endlessly.
ada beberapa frasa yang nak diluah,
tapi tergantung tanpa untaian tali,
terapung di awangan,
macam kapas-kapas di tiup angin.
ada beberapa kata untuk dimadah,
tapi tak terungkap,
hanya tersimpan dalam benak fikiran paling dalam,
makin lama makin busuk,
seperti bangkai haiwan.
ada baris ayat yang tak tertulis,
terbuku dalam diari aku,
tercatat indah tanpa minta dipamer,
*biar, aku tahu tentang itu.
dan aku sedar hanya aku yang menunggu.
ada beberapa perenggan berkenaan kau,
kau yang di sana yang masih terumbang ambing,
seperti bot-bot di pengkalan,
ke kiri dan ke kanan dipukul ombak,
bergantung pada satu ikatan kepercayaan.
ada beberapa babak yang masih terngiang,
dalam memori kudus aku ini,
dan aku masih merasakan ia seperti semalam.
masih panas sehangat darah mengalir dalam diri ku.
dan hanya ada satu kisah tentang aku dan kau,
cukup hanya satu.
satu kisah yang tiada penamat.
ia mati di tengah jalan.
seperti cerita ini,
seperti sajak ini,
kisah itu terkubur.bersama angan-angan.
yang tiada kesudahan.
titik titik kehidupan diwakili oleh beberapa frasa mudah yang boleh dihadam dan dicerna dengan sekelip mata.
sehelai kertas putih,
tidak bertuan,
tampak suci,
indah .
sehelai kertas putih,
diconteng garis halus melintang,
dari awal mula ke penghujung,
sehelai kertas putih mula berwarna.
sehelai kertas putih,
dilakar garis tegak,
diconteng rapi oleh mereka-mereka itu.
sehelai kertas putih cuba memekik.
sehelai kertas conteng,
dibiar melata,
diatas lantai,tanpa di sapa.
sehelai kertas conteng,
direnyuk-renyuk,
dipijak-pijak
dihenjak-henjak.
kertas putih terdiam.
kaku
menjadi kertas renyuk,
terbiar membisu.
tanpa kata.tanpa nada.
kertas putih itu adalah aku.
saat kini dan dulu.
you and me
we both knew this would come
we met,
we talks.
we laughs.
we giggles.
and we confess.
and yes we are.
You and me knew,
this could last forever.
just like Shahjehan and his wife which i can't remember.
You and me knew,
this could ends.
just like Sid and Nancy at the last chapter of their dying moment.
i'm froze
i'm stutter.
i'm being a jerk which i always be.
but you didn't knew.
one day you will just realize
i will not always be around.
to hold you.
to comfort you.
to make you warmth in the coldest night.
to make you happy during your saddest night.
and to make you a cup of milk to make you smile.
i'm would not being around honey.
don't you worry.
I will always be there.
in a place.
inside your heart.
Don't you worry.
p/s: I always and always love you.